Another week, another batch of performances to critique with my red pen. This week is Billboard Hot 100 #1 Hits. I'll go ahead and admit that I did not get any of my predictions right, but I will also admit that had the contestants sang my songs, the show would have been infinitely better. Call me cocky, but it's not cocky if it's true. I'm just sayin...
Without further ado, here are the performance reviews!
Lee Dewyze- "The Letter" by The Box Tops
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I do not, for the life of me, see what the judges see in this guy. The praised him for loosening up and "owning" the stage. Puh-lease! His neck was so tense that his shoulders were touching his ear lobes. He looked like a turtle! He was not relaxed at all and he definitely did not look comfortable or like he was having fun. This was not the right song for him, in my opinion. The big band feel didn't add anything to his performance and it just felt forced. Still not a fan of his voice or his vocal phrasing, but if you are more of a rock fan, I can see where you'd like him, just because the pickings are slim. I don't think he will make it as long as the judges seem to think. He will be a "shocking" elimination in a few weeks. You heard it here, folks.
Paige Miles- "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)
Hands down, undoubtedly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, this was the worst I've ever heard anyone sound on the show (not including the auditions, of course). I was wondering who would try to do a Mariah song and, granted she cheated by doing the Mariah version of a Phil Collins song, Paige felt like she was up to the task. Boy, was she wrong. She was off from the very first note. There was no power behind her voice in the first verse and chorus. The tone was unbearable. It was extremely pitchy. And all the while, she knew it. Once she "busted" into the belting portion, she knew it was already too late, and then the nerves took over. As brutal as the judges were to her, including the phrases "that was horrible..." and "the worst performance of the season...", they were absolutely right. What's more amazing is that they spared her the "worst performance EVER" onslaught. They are so merciful. It would take a miracle for her to be safe this week.
Tim Urban- "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen
High School Musical/Glee has just found their new star. Tim, knowing that his time on the show is short lived, decided to take Ellen's advice from a few weeks ago and showcase his show choir side. Complete with knee slides, hopping into the audience, cheesy dance moves, et al., Tim showed us a side that we haven't seen before. As corny as it was, I was entertained by his energy, which distracted from the vocals. If that was his plan, he's a genius, because his vocals were ordinary. Someone said, "he didn't do near enough with that song," to which I replied, "no, he did everything that HE could possibly do." Not being as skilled as the other singers, it's amazing that he made the tour, when he couldn't even originally make the top 24. VFTW is doing backflips right now, and if he stays on another week, he will beat Sanjaya as their longest reigning pick. I'm kind of hoping that happens.
Aaron Kelly- "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith
Laryngitis/Tonsillitis strikes again! When I heard this, I got a little excited, thinking that Aaron would faulter and hurt his chances in the competition. Opting to go for the country version (surprise, surprise) rather than the more popular Aerosmith version, I'll have to give Aaron props for song choice. He has been very good about picking songs that sound decent in his vocal style, while at the same time, remaining able to pick the same tempos week in and week out without the judges becoming any the wiser. He botched a couple of "high" notes, and that shows his inexperience. There were other paths that he could have taken to make those parts work, even if it meant not going up high. G-ma's are loving him right now, even though I'm not, and are voting their little hearts away. Even though I didn't get a pick right this week, Ryan referred to him as Archuletta, so I'm going to give myself half a point on that, since obviously Ryan read it here first.
Crystal Bowersox- "Me and Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin
First, let me say that I think Crystal looked very pretty tonight. When I can't tell that her hair is dread-locked, she is all the more attractive. Aside from that, Crystal gave us a classic Crystal performance. It was good, on-key, energetic, and a ways better than almost everyone else tonight. The only problem I have with her, still, is that she puts the exact same spin on every song. I would hate to see her in concert at this point, because all of her songs would sound exactly the same. Exactly- just different words. I liked her carpet, and I hope that she does have "big plans" for next week. She needs to ditch the guitar ASAP and give America something else to love about her. She is clearly, and deservedly, the front runner, but my expectations for her are higher than she's delivering. That is a good thing. That means I think she could potentially be great.
Michael Lynche- "When A Man Loves a Woman" by Michael Bolton
Michael can flat out sing. Putting some R&B stylings on a song as white as this one sounded pretty good. In my opinion, Michael and Crystal are in the same position on the show. The only difference is that the judges like Crystal on the whole more than they do Michael, but they gave the best song of the season award to Mike. His performance was really good, though not as good "A Woman's Worth." The judges critiques were a bit unmerited, in my opinion. If anyone else had sang that song the same way, they would have loved it. I still don't think he has anything to worry about for quite some time. And the clip of him and his little baby tote will surely keep people voting for him.
Andrew Garcia- "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye
I'm officially off the Andrew Garcia train. He didn't listen to my advice to do "No Diggity" (thank you Clayton for recognizing genius), and he fell big time because of it. Simon was right, he really did manage to suck the soul right out of the song. There was no feeling, no passion, no inspiration...just a bunch of marginally good singing with no range and no style. I think the judges are wrong that Andrew doesn't know who he is as an artist, because he does. The only problem is that the judges don't like him as much as an artist as they liked one song. We'll see if he can dig himself out of this hole, but my bet is that the rest of the country has grown just as impatient as I am.
Katie Stevens- "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
Katie decided to take the judges advice this week and went with a younger song. It's ironic that she choose this song, seeing as a few weeks ago, she could all but hold her composure together on the stage. That being said, I think this is the best I've heard her sound on the live shows. At first I was thinking that she didn't have a great range, as much as she was struggling with the higher notes in the chorus, but then I realized she was probably just pitchy because the jumps between the intervals were fairly difficult. Heck, I bet Fergie couldn't sing it unless she had her autotuner cranked to max. I like Katie, but her shot to win it all at this point is a big Zero. I'm not sure if she can turn it around, but she should make the tour with this performance.
Casey James- "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News
Aside from Andrew not picking "No Diggity," this is my biggest let down in song choice. Casey had a golden opportunity at his guitar shredding fingertips and blew it by picking this song over "Smooth." I'll give him credit, he sounded really good on this song. His tone fit well with it and he didn't struggle with notes like most of the other contestants do. But still, I'm disappointed that he didn't rip out some Santana. He's still easily in the top 4, but my heart hurts that he didn't take my advice.
Didi Benami- "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt
As a singer only, Didi is really freaking good. She has a really cool voice and has very good control over it, for the most part. What she is not good at, however, is picking songs that fit her as an artist or showcase that voice. I understand that she wants to change things up and have fun on the show. She doesn't want to be pigeon-holed, and that is perfectly fine. There were other songs that she could have done though. This one didn't have all that much energy and her playing off of Ricky Minor like a two-bit hussy wasn't believable in the slightest. I wish this was JUST a singing competition, but sadly, it's not, and I think that will end up biting Didi in the future.
Siobhan Magnus- "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder
With her faux-hawk all pimped up, Siobhan takes on the most overdone song on American Idol, and does a decent enough job on it. She ends in one of her primal screams, since that is what causes the voters to pick up the phones. The problem I saw with her this week, though, was that the performance was somewhat sloppy. She had a few pitch issues that I haven't heard from her up until now and it seemed like she was focusing more on what was at stake than just singing the song well. She still has obviously nothing to worry about, but I expect her to switch it up a bit next week and give us something we haven't seen from her before.
Best of the night was a tie between Crystal and Mike. Tim should thank his lucky stars that he went right after Paige and she distracted everyone from his less than stellar performance. I'm not even going to spend too much time talking about the results show like I usually do. It had bad performances by Miley Cyrus and Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato, the worst group performance I've ever seen, and a predictable bottom 3 of Paige, Tim, and Katie. Paige was ultimately the one sent home. There was no other option, clearly. She turned from ok to fodder over the weeks and wasn't even allowed to sing before the judges told her that the save wouldn't be used on her. Ouch.
After a few relatively good weeks, I was kind of disappointed with what the contestants gave us this week. What do you think? Should they just scrap the tour, because really, who is going to pay over $100 to see this bunch?!
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