And The Winner Is...

*DISCLAIMER- Since this is a recap for a two hour episode, as well as the last entry of the season, prepare for a long post.*

Last night, we were all witness to one of the greatest American Idol Finales ever. With a plethora of superstar guest performers, as well as a hilarious batch awards given out, Idol kept the last show of the season just as entertaining as the contestants have all season. In a two hour special, we left feeling like we had just witnessed one of the big award shows, such as the Grammy's, Oscars, or MTV Music Awards (is that a big award show?). For the last time this season, I will give you my thoughts on how the show shook down. *tear*

First, Ryan introduces people who need no introduction at this point, our judges. With extremely funny videos, they pick on some of the nuances the judges have. For Randy, it was his "for me, for you" saying. This was probably my favorite just because he says it so much that I have even caught myself saying it! Oh Randy, that saying is MAD DOPE! FIIIRE!! MOLTEN LAVA!!! He's crazy. Kara got picked on for sweeting up her harsh critiques with "sweety" and "honey." I never picked up on that before, but it's true, she does try to sweeten it up before she rips them a new one. Next, they mock Paula's extended vocabulary. Really, Paula is the highlight of entertainment from the judges panel. You never know what she is going to say, but you can pretty much rest assured that it will be something completely over-embellished and nonsensical, tried to make sound profound with poorly strung together multi-syllable words. Finally, we get to see Simon, and his video depicting his lack of attention on the show. "Pardon?" and "What?" were common for him, as he's usually looking off to some unknown person to his right, or trying to decipher what Paula had just said. Very entertaining, these judges are.

Next, we get to see our ivory clad finalists, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen, with Ryan, with "see" being the operative word. Their mics aren't turned on. Whoops. It's only the biggest night of the season, sound guy, but you feel free to take a nap in the middle of it. No biggie.

With their rendition of Pink's "So What," we see our finalists joined by the rest of this seasons first ever top 13, also clad in white. Really, Allison should have just gotten to sing this as a solo. The lyrics hold especially true for her. "I didn't win American Idol? So what? I'm still a rockstar." As for the rest, they pull off a decently sung rendition of the pop hit. It's surprising since they weren't able to do this more than twice during the season, but hey, they've had time to practice I bet.

Last years winner, David Cook, is up next to perform his new song "Permanent." This is somewhat of a Debbie-downer performance, but it's touching due to the fact that David just recently lost his brother, Adam, to brain cancer. All of the proceeds from this song will go to help find a cure for cancer. We should all go buy it, because it is his best single to date, and it will help those in need.

Up next is the first presentation for the Golden Idol Awards. The first reward goes to the Outstanding Male of the season. The nominees are: Wil Kunick, who preceded Adam by giving a high-pitched audition of "Mad World"; Michael Gerr, who sounded like a constipated Gollum singing Carrie Underwood; Elijah Scarlett, whose incredibly deep voice could "do voice-over work for monsters"; Dean Anthony Bradford, whose coat looked like a bad couch; and Nick "Normund Gentle" Mitchell, who actually made it into the Top 36 and made love to the American Idol logo. This is a no-contest. Nick Mitchell wins hands down. Accepting his award in a hoodie, he insists that he had no idea this was going to happen. No idea whatsoever. Not. Breaking free of the snapaway pants and unzipping the hoodie, we get to see Normund doing his version of "And I'm Telling You." Complete with singing into a floor monitor and shouting out "girl in the purple shirt," he has us rolling. If he can get learn to extend his repertoire, he could be a funny comedian. "Takes one to know one, sassy pants. BOOM!"

Our first superstar performance is a duet between Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah. I'm going to put it out there that Queen Latifah is crazy pretty. She completely overshadows Lil, literally and figuratively. Lil is like a munchkin up there next to her. She sings well, much better than she did on the show, but she shows us that she still doesn't really have that star power to compete with Queen, who is just so laid back and relaxed that she does it effortlessly. The song "Cue the Rain" is decent though. Not a bad way to go out Lil.

Awkward pairing of the night goes to our next performance: Alexis Grace and Anoop Desai sing "I'm Yours" with Jason Mraz and the top 13. Neither of these two are remotely close to the genre of this song, but they sing it well enough. Jason Mraz looks like he's thinking "why am I even here?" It was a tad random, but not horrible.

Kris Allen is up next to sing "Kiss a Girl" with Keith Urban. Though anyone could have written the words to this song, it's still done well. I can see Kris going this sort of route in his music- a little pop country-ish but more geared toward adult contemporary. I'm glad they got Keith Urban, because he doesn't dwarf Kris like everyone else does. Lil guys singing together. This should also dispel those outlandish rumors on the Internet about him and Adam.

This is one star-packed show! Up next are the 5 female contestants from the top 13 singing "Glamorous" by Fergie. Jasmine shows why she was sent home so early. Megan shows that she can rock some daisy-dukes and has some killer legs. Not to be out-done, Fergie emerges from backstage singing "Big Girls Don't Cry," which is sort of ironic, since each of the girls cried when they got the boot. Hmmmm. Then she rips off her skirt to show off her legs as the rest of the Black Eyed Peas come out and sing "Boom Boom Pow," complete with crazily dressed dancers (can I get one of those costumes though?!) and a strange 5 second delay in the middle of the song. Did Will.I.Am just go on an extreme cursing spree? Did Fergie wet herself onstage again? Or did she have a wardrobe malfunction with those shorts? I don't know but I was still GETTIN IT in my living room. That is my jam. Megan was also gettin it in the isle, haha. She's so awkward, I love it.

Golden Idol Award #2: Best Attitude. The nominees are: Katrina "Bikini Girl" Darrell, who challenged Kara's demonstration of Mariah's "Vision of Love"; Alexis Cohen, who returned for a second season with an initially demure demeanor, only to break out the birds in the end (she was more lady-like this year though); and Tiffany Shedd, who promised to leave with a good attitude and broke it in five seconds, much like her voice broke my eardrums when she sang. Of course, Bikini Girl wins this. She comes out wearing, surprise surprise, a bikini. Ryan says that he sees some things have changed with her, and she shows off her new chestoral muscles (well I guess they aren't muscles since they are fake). She precedes to sing "Vision of Love" again, but is interrupted halfway through by KARA! She wipes the floor with bikini girl and then rips open her dress to reveal her own bikini. Best. Moment. Of. The. Night. That was hilarious. People who were hating on Kara shouldn't anymore. She is pretty cool (and has some pretty nice abs!). Bikini Girls face was priceless.

Up next is the highest finishing female this season, Allison Iraheta, singing with Cyndi Lauper. I'm digging this song, and the fact that Cyndi is strumming on the dulcimer. It puts a cool feel to the song and Allison easily outsings Cyndi, who was never known for her stellar voice. I think that Allison is going to have a very good career. She is pretty freaking amazing for being as young as she is and she can definitely get a record deal and sell big.

Following Allison, we see Danny sitting on the stairs. He begins to sing "Hello" by Lionel Richie. I literally freak out at this point because this song should never be sung on American Idol again by anyone not named David Cook. After last years rendition, Danny's will inevitably pale in comparison. He sings it incredibly well, but it's still no David Cook. As Lionel Richie joins him and they start to sing "Chill" and "All Night Long," I realize that Lionel is now Jamaican. And so is Danny. Crazy. Well sung, but nothing overly exciting about this pair.

After the journey video for Adam rolls, which is pretty impressive, we see the finalist alone with a mic and a CRAZY outfit on. With rhinestones around his eyes, not to mention huge rhinestone-studded roll cages as his shoulder pads, he proceeds to sing "Beth." Everyone in my living room is disturbed at this point and I'm just thinking "Well, he's putting all those gay speculations to rest..." When the camera pans behind him, we see the platform shoes, and that can only mean one thing. KISS! Suddenly, the costume seems appropriate, and KISS takes the stage, in full regalia, complete with drummer Eric Singer coming down from the ceiling. Adam shines in this performance, showing that he is perfect with a big band sound backing up his voice. It's ridiculous that he can come out and sing KISS so effortlessly.

Next is another legend, guitarist Carlos Santa, who joins with Matt Giraud in a very well sung version of "Black Magic Woman." For me, Matt was hot and cold this season. Talented, yes, but he got about as far as he should have. Maybe further. The rest of the top 13 join for "Smooth" and I am impressed with how well they sound together tonight. Way to not suck it up for the finale, guys and gals! I know y'all are just trying to get some record deals.

The last Ford commercial of the season (thank God) is a combination of all the previous commercials, which is painless to watch, so for that, I'm greatful. David Cook then "surprises" Kris and Adam with matching Ford Fusion Hybrids (awww). They do this every year, so I'm sure the contestants realize they are getting a car. Why not a mustang though?! Cheap Idol, real cheap.

Michael Sarver and Megan Joy Corkery sit down to sing a song, with none other than Steve Martin accompanying them on the banjo. Not much to say here. I didn't like either of their voices on the show, and I am not liking them too much now, even though they are singing as well as they both can. Steve Martin predicts that the longshot winner is...himself. Haha, funny old guy!

Now it's the men's turn to counter the women's performance earlier. They sing Rod Stewart's "If You Think I'm Sexy." Rod comes out after, and thank God he didn't sing that song with them. He looks like my grandpa up on stage dancing in a jacket that Anoop HAD to have picked out from his "Ridiculously God-Awful Jacket Store." He sings "Maggie May" and I feared for him falling and breaking a hip the entire time. Good for him, though, that he is still performing and making music, even though he's older than dirt.

Golden Idol Award #3: Best Female. The nominees are: Chelsea Marquardt, whose performance of "Without You" was compared to a falling cat; Irene Angulova, who should've been sent "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"; Dana Moreno, who was too screechy to make the song recognizable; and (of course) Tatiana Nicole Del Toro, whose hideous laughter and dress belied a passable voice and high drama queen potential. Naturally, Tatiana won this, and our prediction of her singing "Saving All My Love for You" for the fourth time COMES TRUE...sorta. Chased by security guards in an obvious comedic attempt, Rubin Studdard looks shocked in the audience, like he believes this is for real. Come on, man. You know she crazy, but she ain't THAT crazy. Ok, maybe she is. I wouldn't put it past her.

Finally, we get to see our finalists perform a duet together, singing the ever-so-appropriate "We are the Champions" by Queen. I have been waiting for Adam to sing Queen again since Hollywood, and he NAILED it. He handled Freddy Mercury's high notes like they were nothing. Kris sounded good on it too, but Adam's power overshadowed him on the choruses. What I liked most is that the last note was great. Adam could have completely went off, leaving Kris in the dust, but he didn't. They held out the same note, not trying to showboat over the other. That shows some class, in my opinion, on both of their parts.

Now is the moment we've all been waiting for. The lights are dimmed and we prepare to find out who our new American Idol is. After a hard fought season, the winner is...





KRIS ALLEN!





As the cheers erupted from my living room, I clap for Kris because I like him a lot, but I realize that, especially after tonight's songs, Adam got robbed. This was not just my sentiment since I'm an Adam fan, but each person I talked to agreed that Adam probably should have won. But let's not take away from the victor. Kris Allen rose from the depths of a self proclaimed mediocre performance of "Man in the Mirror" to show that an ordinary, everyday kind of guy can use his talents and charm to win over the hearts of America. He truly might be one of the most likable contestants this show has ever seen and he still deserved to be in the finals based on his musicality and creativity. I'm not sure, in my opinion, if it was enough to have won the competition, but it's hard to deny that he is very skilled and talented. I hope that he can take this victory and run with it; not letting the horrendous production of 19 records sweep him under the rug like has been done with so many other past male Idols. I hope he sticks strong to who he is as an artist and doesn't let the fame and fortune affect his ability to grasp the hearts of his listeners. Don't produce fodder, Kris. Don't let them make you produce fodder. I hope that both of these two contestants have promising careers in the music industry, for I like both of them and want to continue enjoying the music they create- Adam's insane tenor rock anthems and Kris' cool, laid back acoustic groove.

This has been my favorite Idol season of yet, and I'm glad that you all were able to join me along the ride through this blog. I have been joked on it relentlessly for it, but I feel like it was all worth it. I hope you all were able to gain something from my often-times incoherent ramblings on this site and I hope that you all enjoyed reading my opinions on something that ultimately has no baring on our lives whatsoever. Haha. It was a pleasure and a privilege to be able to write for such a dedicated group of followers. Let me know what you thought...of the season, of the blog, of a contestant, anything. Let me know your favorite moments from this season, and your least favorite; what left you in awe, and what left you howling, wishing, praying for it to end. This has been fun and I look forward to doing it again next year.

For the last time...

Your American Idol Junkie,

Billy