Top 24: Let's Hear It For the Boys

After a disappointing show by the girls on Tuesday night, I came into Guy's Night hoping for something more. I'm not sure what, exactly, but I know it was more. Instead, what I got was a variety of awkward performances, riddled with nerves and bum notes. A LOT of bum notes. The fellas had an opportunity to reclaim the season, proving that the judges were wrong and it wasn't a girls year to win the crown, but I don't think they seized it.

Ellen continued her "You are great!" comments, but seemed a little less impressed than she was with the girls (heh). Randy didn't add much this episode. Kara showed that she is definitely going to have a Paula-esque scandal with one of the contestants. Simon looked off into the audience the whole time, acting way more pouty and bratty than usual. This is getting old quick. I know that the producers think that this "attitude" makes their rankings, but it's getting annoying. I know it's his last year and all, but at least ACT like you are wanting to be there.

I actually think that Simon is secretly undermining Idol in an evil plan to destroy it from the inside. He is planning on bringing his British smash hit X-Factor to America next year, so it's only in best business to destroy the competition (even if he is still technically in their contract). I have never disagreed more with Simon than I did tonight. Everyone who was decent, he smashed. Everyone who was terrible, he said was good. I think he's purposefully trying to build up the bad ones so that they will go through and make for a terrible season. Conspiracy? Hmmm...we shall see.

On to the reviews!

Todrick Hall- “Since You’ve Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson

So this is the best example of a love it or hate it performance since Adam Lambert's "Ring of Fire." Todrick takes the biggest song from American Idol's Season 1 champion and completely revamps it with this funk groove that I actually loved. I am not one for doing songs done by previous Idol contestants, but I think that this was so far from the original that it was ok. He showed a great stage presence, decent enough vocals (compared to the rest), and amazing originality. Whereas David Cook would find a cover of a good song on iTunes and copy that, Todrick came up with this arrangement in his head. Ellen loved it, but the other judges were not impressed with it's over-the-top styling. Simon said that it was “verging on stupid” and that he "came off like a dancer who could sing, not a singer who could dance." That's because that's what he is, Simon. He is a self-proclaimed dancer that sings, so I don't know why he is surprised about that. I'm not sure what the judges want right now. They want someone to flip songs on their head and to be original, but when someone does it, they shoot them down? Perhaps it was a bit too much, but it was still good and not worthy of all the criticism that he received.

Aaron Kelly- “Here Comes Goodbye” by Rascal Flatts

I think that the apocalypse is here. I was EXTREMELY unimpressed with Aaron Kelly's rendition of Rascal Flatts "Here Comes Goodbye" (which was penned by Idol alum Chris Sleigh). He was nasal, extremely pitchy, and stood in the same spot the entire performance. There was no passion, no charisma, and worst of all, no star power whatsoever. Naturally, the judges all loved it. I don't get what the big deal is about this kid. Trust me, it's not because I'm a hater. People keep saying that he reminds them of a little me. That is false. But that's not why I dislike him. I dislike him for his lack of talent. He stood in place, sang a COMPLETELY karaoke version of a song, and he sang it very poorly compared to the original. If the judges are going to tell everyone else that they need to be more original and not sing second rate versions of songs, then they need to tell him that too. Right now, he's getting by way too easy and it's going to bite him once they start getting tired of this shtick.

Jermaine Sellers- "Get Here" by Oleta Adams

Wow. That's all I can really say. And not in the good way. I can't remember one good moment in his performance. It was an old song that not many young voters are going to relate to. And he sang it terribly. During the verses, his voice was extremely weak, waaaay pitchy, and incredibly sloppy. Once he got into the chorus, it fell apart even more. He tried to do his best Adam Lambert impression with high notes that were just way out of his league. He stood there for 2 minutes of shrieking and sending every cat at home crazy, making them do this. Luckily, the judges got one right by calling this awful. The only good thing they could grab was that they liked how he looked. Last time I checked, looks have nothing to do with singing, but what do I know?! He has a fun personality in the video and the post-performance interview, but I don't know if that will be enough to save him. I know he's much better than this, but he stumbled out of the gates tonight, big time.

Tim Urban- “Apologize” by One Republic

So, apparently, Tim didn’t tell his family that he got called back until they announced it on the final episode of Hollywood Week. That's kind of funny. I'm not sure I could do that, but more power to him. When I heard that Tim was singing "Apologize" I sort of sank in my chair, knowing the disaster that was to occur. First of all, no one should sing this song. Kris Allen tried it last year and also got widely panned by the judges for trying to sound too much like the original and not changing it up enough. It's too much of a risk to sing this song with the constant flips into falsetto. If it's not there, the song tanks. Tim found this out the hard way. His falsetto was virtually non-existant. It was like a little mouse singing at times. Now, I think he has a decent enough voice, but not up to the level of the Top 24 (but really, who has shown that they belong here so far?). Simon said that there was “nothing to take from that," and he's right. I can see Tim sticking around another week though. The judges were brutal to him, and his almost breaking into tears on stage surely bought him some votes from the tween girls out there. I like Tim, but he needs to show us that he belongs there in that call-back spot over the likes of Thaddeus Johnson, and tonight, he didn't. Is it too late to apologize? (sorry, I had to go cheesy there!)

Joe Munoz- “You and I Both” by Jason Mraz

So Joe was another one of those guys that we hadn't heard a peep from until now. He has a good voice but there is nothing overly special about it. He doesn't have much in terms of dynamics, and the song stays in an extremely easy range. I think that it was far too simple a song to sing, considering that no one knows who he is. It just never really went anywhere. Simon told him to “get out of the bubble,” meaning don't play it so safe and let who he is as an artist shine through. The sad thing, though, is that this was one of the better performances of the night, and if that's the case, the guys are definitely in trouble.

Tyler Grady- “American Woman” by The Guess Who

So I've never been high on Tyler. I never thought his retro look/style was all that cool or genuine. Of course he picked a '70s song that should have played to his strengths, but it did not. Ellen hit the nail on the head. For someone who idolizes such iconic '70s frontmen, there is not much stage presence about this guy. He seemed to be moving in slow motion and looked like her really might have thought he was on a karaoke stage, not that of American Idol. He is laid back, I'll give him that, but he needs to be taking this competition seriously, and he's not. He showed that he has difficulty staying on pitch and is overall just not a very good singer. The most dynamic thing about his performance was that crazy shirt/scarf thing that he was wearing. Oh, and his ridiculously huge, goofy chin. He needs to step out of the box and into this decade sometime soon if he wants to stick around.

Lee Dewyze- “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol

On a night of awful performances, this stuck out as 'not bad.' First of all, I love this song and I think that it was a good choice for him. He sang it decently. He seemed like he was having trouble with concentrating on the phrases he was singing. The last note of every line was always off. This is surprising because the song does not have that big of a range at all. I liked how he changed the melody up a little bit. It made it a little more his own without going too crazy. I'm not sure how I feel about his voice. I don't really like his tone as much as the judges do. I think he could have a very nice tone, but his lack of focus on the technical aspects of his singing are making it hard to judge right now. He has a good voice, but is not yet a good singer, if that makes sense. Give him some time with the vocal coaches and I think he could be ok. No shot of winning, but ok. All of the judges panned him except for Simon. He loved it. Love is a strong word, but it definitely was not the worst of the night.

John Park- "God Bless the Child" by Billie Holliday

This one I'm torn with. I think John (aka Asian Julie Stiles) can really sing. He has a beautiful, rich tone and has some definite talent with runs and style. When he gets in his money range, like he did in the bridge of this song, he's great. This performance showed all that, but it was also the wrong song choice. He sang it well, but it was boring and forgettable. Kara took a page out of Simon's playbook and called the performance indulgent. Simon looked pissed! You can't take the feisty Brit's favorite word and expect to not get shot a dagger look. Then, it got racist. When Ryan was leading John off the stage after the post-performance interview, HE BOWED! Just because he's Asian doesn't mean you have to bow at him, Ryan. If we all treated people like the stereotypes, I'd be asking you how business was in the North Pole with the other elves. Come on, man! I think John is safe, but I want to see a spiced up soul number next week.

Michael Lynch- “This Love” by Maroon 5

Finally, a fun performance. I like Big Mike. Is he the best vocalist? No, but that doesn't matter. He is a good entertainer. He knows who he is and is very comfortable on the stage being himself. It might have to do with the fact that he could beat anyone up in the audience if they boo'ed him. I don't know. He gave the show the boost it needed after several less than stellar performances in a row. He is unquestionably safe and this was one the best performances I've seen up to this point, but again, that's not saying much, so don't think that I thought it was amazing.

Alex Lambert- "Wonderful World" by James Morrison

Fodder. I don't need to say anymore, but I guess I owe it to the contestants to give equal treatment. First of all, I couldn't get past the mullet. Seriously?? Not a good look. Second, I don't know what the judges are smoking. They say he has everything that he needs as a singer, but just didn't put it together. I disagree. He had no power, no pitch, and no style. He stared at the camera awkwardly and came across as a creeper. He does have a unique tone, like James Morrison, but that shouldn't be enough to excuse the rest of his faults vocally. This is my proof that Simon is throwing the show under the bus for his own means this year. Oh, and Ellen talked about how she can't wait to eat his not-yet ripe banana. Eeerrrrrrr :-/

Casey James- Bryan Adams “Heaven”

Casey (aka Hansel) had what could have been the best performance of the night. It was the right song choice from him, he sang it reasonably well, and received high marks from the judges. And this was all during the extremely distracting commotion at the judges table where Kara couldn't hold back her inner school-girl crush and the guys fed into it. "Hansel. So hot right now. Hansel." The producers gave him some of the pimp lighting, and that always adds to a performance. I think he will do well on the show, but there are some things he needs to work on: 1) he needs to not let the judges favoritism go to his head, because they don't vote, we do. 2) He needs to cut the Eddie Vedder vibrato from his voice. He sounded much better when he sang the blues song during Hollywood Week. I did appreciate how Ellen apologized for the distraction from the other judges. It was a classy move and showed that she really cares about the contestants and wants to see them do well.

Andrew Garcia – Fallout Boy “Sugar We’re Going Down”

Andrew Garcia, the front-runner for the guys, would obviously get the pimp spot. He did a cool, laid back version of the originally high-octane "Sugar We're Going Down." I liked it fair enough. As the judges said (over and over and over again), it was no "Straight Up." I'm a little disappointed that he tried to do the exact same thing again, though. I know that he is a very good musician and singer and is good at flipping songs into an acoustic vibe, but I want to see big, bold and charismatic from him next week. He is obviously safe, so there is no point in saying "if he's back next week." He was vocally the best tonight, but I think that I agree with the judges that we need to see more of what he's capable of.

Now, out of all these less than thrilling performances, how am I supposed to pick the two who should go home?! I definitely think that Alex Lambert should be done. He's just not made for this show. If we were going solely based on tonight's performances, I would have to throw Jermaine Sellers and Tim Urban into that boat as well. Jermaine definitely has way more talent than he showed tonight, but the voters are a fickle bunch and don't tolerate too much this early in the game. The only three who are definitely safe are Big Mike, Casey, and Andrew. It's a toss up at this point as to who is the worst of the rest. Can Tim's good looks get him past this stage? Can Jermaine's airtime save him? Or will Joe go home because no one knows who he is?

Currently, votefortheworst.com is endorsing Haeley Vaughn and Tim Urban. They thought that they were the worst of the group, so they are putting their mighty forces (and they are remarkably might) behind these two. Don't be surprised if they stick around.

I'm glad that the first performance is over with. It was downright painful to listen to a lot of these songs and I found myself constantly doing my best Kris Allen impersonation...

Hopefully the contestants will put more effort into their song selections next week, if they are still around. America wants to see why the judges thought that this bunch was the best. So do I. Because, honestly, I personally know 24 other better singers off the top of my head without breaking a sweat.

What did you guys think of the first performances? Do you disagree with any of my reviews? Am I being overly critical against Aaron Kelly and his whiny, nasally voice? Who is going home?! Remember, the results show is on tonight! Let's send some of this fodder home!

Your American Idol Junkie,

Billy