5 Alive: Elimination Results (SPOILER ALERT!)

After (another) week where Kris and Adam stole the show with their ingenuity and near flawless performances, it's time to see how this week's elimination episode went down. Last night we found out the "dramatic" results from the wake of the first-ever Judges Save. The second double elimination this season was about as suspenseful as the first (aka not at all), but we'll get to that in a little bit. Here is a recap of last night's episode- some observations.

1. The show opens with a video showing Paula teaching the top 7 a dance that she choreographed to "Dance and Shout." OK, so Paula might be a Meth-addict, but I like her a lot. She is crazy and does not make sense most of the time, but she seems really nice and is hilarious. I think that the show wouldn't be near as good if she wasn't on it. Even when she is being the "drill sergeant" on the dance floor, she still has a great time and you can tell that the contestants see her more as a friend than a judge. The video is pretty funny. You can tell that the Idols were working their butts off to learn that choreography. Granted, it wasn't that hard compared to most choreographed routines, but for non-dancers, I can see how it would have been tough to learn.

2. Now to see the results of the practice! Dressed in head-to-toe 80's garb, complete with aviators and boy band mics, the group dances from the audience to the stage. SURPRISINGLY, they are NOT BAD! They proved to be much better than I thought they would be. Sure, they aren't together on every step, but that's to be expected. Worst dancer on the floor- Matt Giraud. Boy can play piano, but leave the dancing shoes in the closet, homie. He looked just a tad lost the whole time. Anoop wasn't far behind him. Best dancer on the floor- Kris Allen. SHOW 'EM THAT WHITE BOYS CAN DANCE! I'll just go on the record to say that I'm not quite sure what Kris was wearing, but I was sorta liking it. I'm going to get a crazy shirt like that and see if I can pull it off.

3. The Ford commercial is lame as usual. This one looks like it took about 5 minutes to shoot, edit and print. The theme is weak. Are they trying to say that being a baker, construction worker, or dog groomer is a bad thing? Or that if you suck at your job you should quit and go to a cafe that is looking for singers? I'm not quite sure, but it was sorta stupid. I've come to expect that though.

4. After the commercial and a quick wardrobe change, it's time to break down who is going to be in the bottom 3. Lil stands up first and is told to walk to the far side of the stage, obviously meaning that she is in the bottom 3. Ryan comes over and tells her that she is eliminated. Just like that. It was so quick that I missed it because I looked an a friend for two seconds rather than keeping my eyeballs glued to the TV. So much for keeping it suspenseful. This one was one
that could have swung either way, in my opinion, but I'm glad that Lil is going home. She was, by far, one of the biggest let-downs this show has ever seen. During her audition, I thought she was the one to beat this season, but after falling apart once she got into the top 11, she essential dug her own grave. I don't think being on this show helped her "career" that much. She showed every record producer that she is not ready for the pros. However, her swan song tonight was the best I've heard her sing all season. It was great, and I know she is wishing that she had brought that the night before.

5. It's now time to go back in our time machine again and bring back some of the greats of Disco to relive some of their glory moments. Freda Payne is first with "Band of Gold." Let me just say, HD TV is not her friend...and neither is the plastic surgeon's knife. DANG! She sorta scared me. Thelma Houston is next with "Don't Leave Me This Way." She sounds better and looks better, but the front of that dress was just a TAD too short for some of the dance moves she was doing on that raised stage. I hope the front row liked what they saw...I just vomitted. KC from KC and the Sunshine Band closes the nostalgic trip down memory lane, and I'm glad it's almost over. He can no longer sing, he looks ridiculous, he is staring these woman down like a creeper, and his long point-and-stare into the camera at the end was just the cherry on the top of an overall really awkward performance.

6. The rest of the bottom three is about to be revealed. Kris. Easily safe. Adam. No brainer, safe. Danny. Really wish he wasn't safe but you know he is. Anoop is sent to the losers stools again, and with a swiftness since Ryan knows he doesn't like the suspense. I think Ryan is still a little sore from Anoop last week. He told Anoop "You are getting used to being in the bottom 3, aren't you?" HAHAHA. Little jabs are the best. It's now between Allison and Matt as to who is joining Anoop, and it is surprisingly (sort of), Allison! I knew that the producers wouldn't want the judges to look like idiots by saving Matt and then having him fall in the bottom 3 again. I seriously doubt that more people voted for him than Allison, but hey, the producers knew that they weren't going home. What would it hurt to swap them.

7. David Archuleta, the first runner up last season, and arguably the most talented KID ever to ever grace the stage, performs before the final results are given. He also shows just how terrible some producers are at turning a great talent like his into bubble gum pop fodder. His album was released by Jive records, proving that they don't know how to use an artists talents to sell a record. They'd just rather whore them out with catchy loops and meaningless lyrics. Britney Spears? Backstreet Boys? *NSYNC? Point proven. The performance was bad and I feel sorry that he's been reduced to this, because the kid can saaaang.

8. The final elimination is here and it is no surprise to anyone here or in that auditorium that Anoop couldn't beat Allison in this little race. He was my 100% pick to go home this week, and it was obvious before the first note was even sung this week. Even though I attended UNC with him, he never proved to be anything overly special to me on the show. Sure, he was the golden voice of the Clef Hangers, but outside of the collegiate bubble, that amounts to nothing. It was a great run, Anoop, especially since you almost didn't make the show (top 13). Congrats to the highest finish for a Tar Heel on AI...but we still won the National Championship! Woohoo!

There ya go, folks. Enjoy the weekend (I know I will...it's my birthday!) and check back in next week for all the crazy happenings in Idol-land.

Your American Idol Junkie,

Billy

Expect big things from Allison next week since she always delivers after being in the bottom 3.